Core Love
by Ninjy
Summary: Love is a living breathing feeling, and though Misaki knew it was a part of him, he knew it was nothing but trouble, and suppressing that feeling was what he had to do survive. That is until he meets his brother's best friend.
1. Chapter 1

"Don't wander off now Misaki, we're almost there." His father called out to him.

Little Misaki pulled his eyes away from the white mountains and the sparkling lakes, the shining sky of purple, orange, and red. He had only ever seen pictures off all this, but real life looked and felt so much prettier.

He couldn't help taking it all in, even as he trailed behind his father a bit to examine even the prettiest of rocks.

"Misaki! Come now it's just up ahead." His father called out this time and Misaki ran back to his father's side with a skip in his step before taking his father's hand as he leads him through the outskirts of a forest, just as day turned to night, and the stars up above began to come out.

"Now listen carefully Misaki," His father spoke up, squeezing his son's hand as Misaki looked up to his dad, "There is a place I am going to show you today. This place, it's very different from where we are now- this place you see is where I'm from."

Misaki blinked in confusion, but was silent as he walked alongside his father, the warm comfort coming from the older man was enough to settle Misaki's curiosity as they continued on their walk.

"It is calm and quiet," His father continued, "with fields of gold as far as the eye can see. Mountains like the ones here, but the skies Misaki, the skies are so different." His father explained moving his hand with his words, almost as if he could paint the whole picture for them to see.

"The skies are bright and purple in color, but every sunrise and sunsets it turns a brilliant shade of blue, like that of this world, before the stars take their place in our sky." His father stopped walking as he looked up at the sky before closing his eyes. "The stars stretch on for miles and miles, lighting up so bright it's like a whole different world in itself." He looked down at his son now his kind smile settling on his face.

"It's a place of peace and clarity, and another world to explore and love. Just like this one Misaki."

"Another world?" Misaki asked in wonder and amazement as they stood in a clearing, glancing around to see this place his papa was talking about but saw nothing like it. The winter air fogging little Misaki's breath as he looked around, the city lights all but gone from where they stood as his father chuckled softly.

"You'll see it soon Misaki, I've wanted to show you for quite some time now.

"What about big brother? Why can't he come along?" Misaki suddenly asked, but wished he hadn't when his father's smile flickered. The comfort and joy turned into a brief feeling of sadness and for a moment something swelled inside the young boy's chest, making Misaki sniffle a bit in sadness, but it vanished in an instant as his father's smile returned once again; his joy quickly returning.

"Maybe one day Misaki, it's not impossible, but my world is hard to get to with people like your brother because of a core." His father explained as he knelt down next to Misaki.

"A core is something you need to travel, without a core like ours traveling is impossible for him." His father tapped his son's chest, "It's what sets us apart, but makes us all the same Misaki."

His father smiled as something seemed to shift around him, it almost looked like a glow, but instead of shining bright it shimmered and twinkled, but still brought such wonder to Misaki's eyes.

"It's a part of you, and me. It's what makes you so very special Misaki. It's something I hope you will grow to love."

His father patted his chest as the glow around his father spread through him.

"Now I want you to think of something happy Misaki. Something that brings a smile to your face, and makes you feel safe. Can you do that for me?"

Misaki nodded his head, and closed his eyes in concentration, thinking of his happiest thoughts.

He felt a pressure in his chest, but at the same time, he felt as if he was completely free of gravity itself as he thought of his happy thought.

"That's it Misaki. That's it exactly." His father said excitedly. "Never forget that feeling, hold it tight with both hands, and let it lead you in everything you do, Misaki. It will help you through life, and in this travel.

Misaki opened his eyes to see a bright shimmer blue light coming from his father, but it vanished again in an instant as his father smiled down at him.

"I am glad to share this walk with you Misaki." His father held his hand tighter in his grip.

Little bits of light seemed to flow up from the ground, drifting upward and around them. Misaki watched the lights circle around playfully and he laughed with it and soon his father was leading him through a place he could only describe as a place out of a storybook or a beautiful dream.

That dream had been 12 years ago, and Misaki had not thought of it once since then.


	2. Chapter 2

"Looking over his test results Misaki was less than thrilled, in fact, he was downright disappointed at the moment. These grades were far from ideal, and if he couldn't get them up soon…

Well, he didn't even want to think about that.

Misaki sighed folding up and tucking the paper away, for now. He could go over them with his brother maybe? But just the thought of bothering him for something he could do gave him a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He'd just have to work harder next time, study until his eyes were sore from looking at his textbooks, and hopefully be able to get these grades up. He had four months left until the Center Test, he could pull them up in that time... couldn't he? His grades were pretty bad no matter how you looked at them if he were being honest and if he couldn't make the progress in time…

"No don't think like that," Misaki told himself as he dug through his pocket for the key, "Start thinking like that and you'll only fall lower."

He just had to get himself ready, maybe even find a tutor for himself?

He pulled out the key, unlocking the door to his home.

"I'm home-" Misaki stopped dead in his tracks, his voice cut off at the sight of his older brother being snuggled and held by another man. He felt his breath catch in his throat as his eyes meet the strangers. Grey hair that did not look like it was due to age, and piercing eyes that left him a bit unsettled, but the strangest part was that the stranger's hands were on his brother's face as if the other man was going to-

"Welcome home, Misaki." His brother, Takahashi Takahiro, greeted him with a smile and not moving from his position. His brother didn't look like he was being attacked, not even feeling uncomfortable by this situation it seemed because from Misaki's point of view it looked quite… private?

"Bro... ther?" He managed still caught off guard by the atmosphere, even when his brother acted like this was an everyday occurrence.

His brother was patting the other man's arm, trying to coax the other man off of him, but the other man didn't budge, and it didn't look like he was moving anytime soon.

"Come on, Usagi, get off of me." His brother said again, as the stranger kept his eyes on Misaki studying him and seeming to come to a conclusion.

"The man was... still with his brother... it shouldn't feel unsettling and he was going to _ignore_ it. Misaki ignored the twist in his chest and the shudder that went through him. He knew what was going on just by looking what the other man was doing, but he squished that feeling away as he watched the man smile.

"This your kid brother Takahiro?" The man suddenly spoke, with the most unsettling tone as Takahiro confirmed the man's questions, still leaning against the wall.

"His brother cuts off his train of thought as he introduces the strange man, "Misaki, this is my friend, Usami Akihiko. The one I've told you about? He's come to join us for dinner today." He explained as Misaki blinked still coming back to himself.

"What is-" He was cut off again as Usami-san spoke up.

"So you two are _nothing_ alike."

"Misaki stopped mid-sentence stepping back a bit at the remark. Awkwardly as his older brother stood up straight and finally managed to get Usami-san off of him, though Usami-san still clung to his brother like a flies to honey.

"We get that sometimes don't we Misaki?" Takahiro asked him, but did not wait for his reply as he explained, "We had different fathers, mine walking out on our mother when I was just very young. I think I shared this story with you?" Takahiro thought for a second, "Or perhaps not, it's not like I remember much of him." He said offhandedly "But Misaki's father, our father, was the man who helped me become the man I am today."

He glanced to Misaki smiling happily, but Misaki froze, sure talking about their parents had gotten _better_ , but that still didn't make it _easier_. Especially so casually with someone he barely knew standing with them.

"Takahashi Sakurai was-"

"I just remembered! I have lots of homework to do!" Misaki suddenly yelled out, "Call me when dinner is ready!" Misaki ran past the two men and quickly ran to his room shutting the door right behind him. He closed his eyes, taking a few breathes and pushing away from the door and settled his bag down on his bed as he sat down at his desk.

It wasn't that he couldn't discuss it, it was just he would rather not. Misaki sighed opened one of his previous study books and waited for the call for dinner.

The call to dinner came thirty minutes later and dinner itself was mostly his brother talking to both of them, or Usami-san talking to his brother. It wasn't the first time he's ever felt out of place, but to feel out of place with his own brother in the room felt quite off, but seeing his brother content settled his nerve, and Takahiro seemed quite happy in the company of both of them, even if Misaki was simply agreeing or nodding his head to any questions his brother asked him.

"That reminds me how are your studies going? I know you got your report today."

"It's alright," Misaki said taking more soup for himself, without really hearing his brother, "Doing good."

"Are you falling behind at all?" This time it came from Usami-san, but again Misaki was more focused on the food then the conversation going on around him, as well as the slight distracted by the feeling in his chest that was starting to become a bigger nuisance than usual.

"Yeah, but I can handle it." The words were out of his mouth before he could really think about it.

"He probably should have paid more attention, because before he knew it he was agreeing to tutor sessions with Usami-san, which he quickly tried to deny said help, but the look his brother gave him as well as the fact that this was the same Usami Akihiko who graduated top of his class would be quite illogical, especially since the only payment Usami-san asked for was a pot of Takahiro's famed pork miso soup.

That was as cheap as it was gonna get, especially a tutor like Usami-san and Misaki couldn't say no.

He did manage a decent thank you, and dinner continued on as usual. Misaki took the dirty plates without a word, doing the dishes as Usami and his brother retreat into the living room for a drink, and he didn't say anything.

The fact that the twist in his chest had settled into a small gripe was better, and he glanced in the direction of the living room, and for a moment he considered something, before quickly squishing the thought away with a grumble and finished up the work and headed back to his room.

He laid there ignoring the twitch and let himself fall asleep.

Tomorrow was another day.

Tomorrow came quicker then he had anticipated.

He woke up with a gasp, hands flying to his chest as he felt something twist and pull, and before he knew it Takahiro was rushing to his room, alarmed by something Misaki wasn't even aware of until loud clatter caught his attention and he looked over to his computer chair knocked over, as well a couple of books now scattered over his desk and floor.

He clenched his jaw, anger appearing for just a split second but the feeling was quickly cut off as his brother's arms suddenly came around him holding him close, saying words he couldn't quite grasp or even able to understand, but the feeling of worry was there. The feeling of comfort and care was enough for him.

He was able to settle back down, as his brother waiting a moment before he pulled away.

Misaki refused to look at him.

"Was it Usagi-san?" Takahiro finally asked. That got Misaki's attention and he snapped up and yelled a quick, "No!" he tensed before looking back down, the anger there, but he took a couple of breaths and shook his head.

Last time a close friend of Takahiro's had made him feel unsettled, Takahiro had cut ties with them without a second thought, and while Misaki had thought the world of him then he'd learned what that sour feeling his brother had felt been years later, and he wasn't about to let that happen again.

However, his brother didn't look convinced, and Misaki took another breath before explaining.

"It wasn't him, brother, it was just something he said. It's silly and something I shouldn't be dwelling on."

"What did he say?" Takahiro asked Misaki was silent for a second before he pulled his knees close.

He muttered out the simple phrase that shouldn't have made him feel anything.

 _"He looks nothing like you."_

It was a simple offhanded comment probably just stated as a fact, but the way Usami-san had looked like him, it had made him feel out of place and reminded Misaki of what he was.

Of what he _really_ was, and no matter how hard he tried to fight it, it would always be there. A shadow he couldn't escape a part of him he just couldn't forget.

"It just... it reminded me of... of what I am Taka," Misaki confessed his voice just barely a whisper. His brother patient as he listened to him, "It wasn't him, it was just me."

Takahiro sighed and placed a hand on his knee, and Misaki closed his eyes, feeling what his brother felt even as he spoke them, "It's nothing to be ashamed of Misaki, I know it's hard-" Misaki tensed at the sudden emotion, but settled as Takahiro moved to squeeze his hand.

"I wish there was more I could offer, but it's getting better Misaki, your getting better."

At what Misaki didn't quite know, some days were harder than others, but his brother was usually right. Or perhaps Misaki was just getting better at hiding it, tucking it away in a burst of rational human outburst instead of keeping it tucked away so it escapes later like he had done today.

"I'm sorry for waking you." Misaki decided to say instead of acknowledging the baggage even as his brother let him know that it was alright, that he would have woken up by his alarm in half an hour anyway.

"Why don't we have an early breakfast instead? And this way I can also get started on that miso soup for you to take to Usagi in the morning instead of the evening, I'm sure he won't mind." He said cheerfully, "Unless you don't want-"

"Misaki sighed as he let his feet drop to the side of the bed. "I said it was fine, besides you seem to really care for him," Misaki added looking down in embarrassment, knowing Taka knew he could... sense such attachments.

Takahiro smiled, that feeling that came with it was soft and warm, caring in ways Misaki knew Takahiro cared for a small number of people.

"He's my best friend."


End file.
